What we miss...

I think that prior to the discovery of my own food allergies it was easy for me to tell someone not to worry about making something special for Hubs, he didn't need it.... And this is still true, for both of us now. However, there are things we miss -

Sunday
Going to church, the routine of Sunday: getting up having breakfast attending church with our friends and being in a class. We have chosen to attend on Saturday nights because here in the South, ladies and gentleman put on their Sunday best prior to arriving at church. This includes loads of perfumes, colognes, body powders, body sprays, deodorants, hair sprays, hair gels, nail polish and so on...... all of which contain corn. And sitting in, even our larger auditorium, amongst all that corn makes my husband sick. Enough to effect his ability to participate in worship and reap knowledge from the sermon.
Communion, while we can still participate in the Spiritual aspect of remembrance and self examination we are unable to partake of the elements. I've yet to see corn free, gluten free, soy free communion elements and probably won't in this life time.

Monday - Friday
Fast Food, while we have never been a family that lives on fast food it is nice to have that option! Mondays always seem busiest and it would be nice to simply pick something up on the way home.

Saturday
MOVIES in the theater at night! As a couple we have never gone much (David used to see one every weekend or so before we were married) but it was fun to do dinner and a movie from time to time. Now we have to sneak in at an early showing and avoid the popcorn maker. In the evenings there's too much popcorn floating around and wiped on handles and such.

Life in General
Quick Grocery Shopping Trips, I used to be able to shop for a week in less than 30 mins. Now it's an hour minimum if I should up super early and only scan my regular items labels. Buying something new adds at least 5 minutes - there's no spur of the moment let's try this for this family!
Eating meals at friends homes without crazy advance planning and worrying, we entertain more in our home to avoid accidental contamination. We have wonder friends and family that work hard to accommodate us but it's hard to host us.
Whole What Flour, I'm not going to lie. I feel better for avoiding whole wheat (gluten really I'm not eating gluten because every thing I have tried that was supposed to be wheat free has made me feel sick) but I miss knowing how to bake with out corn while still having wheat. I'm getting there. I've done gluten free, corn free pancakes with success. And brownies.



So while we do work to keep a good attitude and not worry or complain, there are things we miss. They aren't huge but come up from time to time. Over all we are both healthier and happier for living with out and so we smile and say "no thanks" to the free breakfasts or lunches at work and agree with our coworkers that we eat super healthy. Some people will never understand that food allergies are medical conditions and if one continues to eat the foods that make them ill the worse their medical issues will be.

PS - there are more but this is an insight to those that might not have considered the things that we avoid or do with out as a result of our allergies.

It's not personal....

I think something that is really difficult for David and I to remember is that for the general population food allergies are something of an abstract idea - never mind moving into the idea that corn isn't JUST a "food" allergy. The rude deli worker, the less than helpful waitress, the lack of response from a company when inquired.... It's not personal - for THEM. For the allergy afflicted, however, it's VERY personal.

Thankfully with both the peanut and soy allergy the problem shoots through David - literally. Uncomfortable for him, miserable if out in public and nothing he can do/take to slow it down (because again, corn isn't just a food allergy - it's in every OTC medication we have ever tried).

Corn however sits in his system and wrecks havoc for WEEKS.

Unless a person has a food allergy themselves or has PREPARED food for someone with a food allergy on a regular basis, they just won't get it. Period. Yes, eating gluten free is all the rage - but many people do it by choice so if they stumble into something contaminated they are fine. Again, it's not personal - for THEM.

We do run into the occasional really friendly, helpful waitress or manager. The occasional extra sweet deli worker that is willing to let me read the labels on the packages. And sometimes we are lucky enough to contact someone at a company that is sensitive to our situation. But again, it's the exception not the rule.

When I start getting defensive -

(Hey this is MY husband we are talking about here - I work REALLY, REALLY, REALLY hard to make sure that our home, our "stuff", our food, our cleaning products and on and on are safe. So when someone else screws it up because of carelessness it's aggravating beyond words.)

- I remind myself that it's not a personal attack. Sometimes it "feels" that way but it's not. And my getting irate with a restaurant worker or store manager isn't going to help anything. Thankfully, I have never lost my cool but I have watched other people. (Let's just say that NO one looks attractive having a melt down in public - even if for a good reason.) Rather, I attempt to educate as best I can. Some are very receptive while others, have no interest. Again, it's not personal for THEM.

We are blessed to have family and friends that try really hard - and we are thankful. When people want to have us over for dinner I often bring the food and cook myself. Occasionally I will recommend a simple meat and veggie meal with no breads and no spices please. If fat is needed, please use olive oil. (This is David's food allergy but because I do the bulk of the shopping and cooking/baking I am the most familiar with ingredients. He is learning out of necessity and can even make a mean brownie.)

We have to be our own advocates. No one else will. No one else understands. Even with family and close friends. And hey while it is personal for the allergic person, it's not personal against the well intended.


*Sadly the most recent picture I could find of this "corn free" family is nearly 3 years old.*